What’s Cabaret Got To Do With It?

Growing up, I loved singing and music.  I sang in choruses and performed in school musicals and community theatre. Being on stage felt like freedom: the freedom to be myself. And songs were like windows into different lives. The lyrics drew me in and the feelings in them were a way to discover my own feelings. Singing became a vehicle for self-discovery.

It wasn’t until I was an adult that I found out there was a whole musical genre about knowing and showing yourself to the world: cabaret.

Cabaret is the art of storytelling through music, while making an intimate and personal connection with the audience. Each song is a self-contained story sung from the singer’s perspective and delivered directly to the audience. There is no “fourth wall.” In cabaret, the songs reveal and celebrate who the singer is.

In my 40s, I discovered the DC Cabaret Network and started attending open mics and working with a voice teacher again for the first time since college.  I chose songs that said things I wanted to say. At first, it was hard not to “perform” them—to portray an emotion the way I thought a good singer would. That “looking outward” for the right way to sing a song kept me from owning the words from my own point of view, and while I sang, I was busy critiquing myself. I envied singers who could tear up with sadness or bristle with anger as they sang. It seemed impossible to do. One day, in a cabaret workshop, I sang a song about a woman who had evolved from being someone’s wife to an independent, full human being who could no longer be who she had been. The song resonated so deeply with me; in real life, I was just starting to create a new life, post-divorce. As I sang the song, my voice tightened, and I started to cry. In that moment, I was inside the song, being vulnerable and telling my truth. This was the opening I had been seeking for many years. It later struck me that these were the things I was trying to learn how to do as a person—fully own my feelings without apology, dream bigger, and expect more. Over time, as I sang and performed, I was slowly able to allow myself to feel my feelings in front of others, judge myself less, and be myself more—not only while performing, but while living my life.

It’s no coincidence that as I became more able to own my voice on stage, I was more strongly drawn to finding work that fulfilled me. Growth is never compartmentalized. While I didn’t know it at the time, I was pulling toward the light in all aspects of my life. My cabaret journey was also my life’s journey. 

What parts of you are seeking growth?

What possibilities can you explore that could have a ripple effect on your life?